I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
