Non-Jews are for practice
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
