I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
