I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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