I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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