can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
