Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
