I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sorry about my life...
wow bdsm is so cute
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
