I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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