so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My vagina just clenched in fear
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
