P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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