she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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