I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize