Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize