I've blown a few things in my day
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
