So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
