It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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