Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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