You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
