I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize