I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
