So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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