whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
