i would punch a child for taco bell
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
