a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
