I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
