i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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