it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
