did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
that may or may not have been my penis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize