Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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