I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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