Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
