So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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