if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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