JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
