i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
