I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
