Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
