And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
