her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
