I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
