you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
