Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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