I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize