I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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