thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
