I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
