i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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