what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
