She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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