Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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