Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
