my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
