Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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