I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well you can't waste a boner
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
