I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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