he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
