Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
People in love make me want to vomit
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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