Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
