I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
