So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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