We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize