Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
