drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
