no, he came in my armpit
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
