i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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