As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
